Lord, Lord…where art thou?

Have you ever felt Psalm 22:2, I mean really felt it? When the psalmist said, “O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer; And by night, but I have no rest”. We’ve heard testimonies from friends, co-workers, business associates, and pastors on how God answered their prayers, cancelled their debts, healed their relatives, and granted them their dream jobs, lined up all connections to start their businesses. And you sit in wonder, amazed at what the Lord is doing, ecstatic over a friend’s testimony, talking faith to build yourself up, reminiscing over your past victories (frankly, victories from too many years ago) and start to wonder….

Lord, Lord where art thou? Not in the sense of location…..we can all agree that he sits on the throne. But where were you when I labored in prayer over a decision? When I cried out for healing? When I started the business you told me to start, but the profits didn’t manifest? When the prophet told me, I’d be rich and married by this time next year? Where were you? Are you deferring dreams? Are you teaching me something? Is the devil harassing me? What is it, Lord? Why does manifestation take sooooo long? Perhaps, you’ve never been here. Perhaps you have and just too embarrassed to tell anyone lest your faith gets judged.

Some years ago, as I was facing a major decision, I began to wonder is He ever going to answer. I had been praying, confessing, believing, fasting (so you know it was serious…I don’t give up food for just anything) for months. One day I was so frustrated with God that I decided I was done…done praying about it, done confessing, done. In my final discussion with God about this matter, I shared with Him, that I was done. Jesus and I are friends, God is my father…we’re family so I don’t have to talk to them in a fake voice…. (unless you have relationship with the Father and the Son, your conversations probably won’t sound like mine, but that’s ok J). Anyways, when I finished lamenting, I sat back and waited for my spirit to be heavy with the rebuke that I believed would come from my Father. But this is what God spoke to my heart: Daughter, WHATEVER you decide I’ll back. Wow, what a statement and what a relief. Even as I write this, and remember that day, I’m reminded that GOD TRUSTS ME. He knows me and still trusts me. Even when I’m not convinced, He is fully persuaded that greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world (I John 4:4). He is convinced that my love for Him will compel me to do right. He believes that when life and death are put before me, I would pick life. God loves us, we know that with absolute certainty. God trusts us, now let that sink in. So much so, that not only did He die for us but gave dominion to us, dominion over all the works of His hand. God. Trusts. You! I don’t always get what I want, but I always trust Him. Besides, He’s given me authority over His works, the least I can do is give Him authority over mine. The highest heavens belong to the Lord, but the earth He has given to man. (Psalms 115:16). God believes in mankind. God believes in you. Although, I continue to submit almost everything to God in prayer, when He doesn’t answer, I don’t panic. I’m fully persuaded that He’s got me, I’ve got Him and we’ve got this. And that’s just the way it is.

LaTasha Battle